Does Bigfoot wear pants?

Covering city, county and school board meetings, there are always plenty of interesting items on the agenda. But some rather interesting discussion can arise from topics not on the agenda.

That’s exactly what happened during a recent Helen City Commission meeting where talk turned to Bigfoot, his backside and pants. The Bigfoot in question is a wooden statue next to a bench, where visitors can take a selfie with the legendary creature. (During public comment, someone in attendance questioned city officials about the visibility of the Bigfoot’s posterior in public.)

That later led me to wonder if anyone else had pondered the question: Does Bigfoot wear pants? If Bigfoot is real, isn’t he or she an animal? And animals don’t really wear pants, as far as I know.

Although, now I’m picturing Bigfoot in German attire (since it goes with the theme of Helen), so he or she is in either a lederhosen or dirndl. That would be a funny sight to see – and also good for a selfie, I imagine.

But, maybe Bigfoot does wear clothes. I mean, I’ve never seen one, so who knows what Bigfoot does? If Bigfoot do wear clothes, what do they wear? Something comfortable? After all, there are reports of Bigfoot living all over the world, from the United States to Australia to Asia, so they’ve got to be comfortable. I bet they’ve adapted their clothing style to wherever they are. I would also assume their style would be similar to the style of clothing that locals where they live wear – not that it would make it any easier to blend in.

Maybe Bigfoot is really into camouflage and that’s why we never see them.

Or maybe he takes a Donald Duck or Winnie the Pooh route and only wears shirts, but no pants. (If he’s friends with Mickey Mouse, he could go the pants-only route.)

And I wonder what type of pants he would wear. Moving around in the woods and hiding from people, he probably has to wear something quiet so he doesn’t attract attention. Or he goes the Bugs Bunny route and doesn’t wear anything, except when he’s trying to pull a scheme on someone.

I’ll be honest, I had driven by the Bigfoot a couple of times and had never noticed his derriere was showing. But after the meeting, being a good reporter, I had to go investigate and see his gluteus maximus. After all, you never know when you’ll need a photo of a Bigfoot and his heinie for something. Stranger things have happened after all.

On a somewhat, but not completely unrelated, note, did you know a TV show about the search for Bigfoot has been filmed in Helen? The very first episode (season 1, episode 1) of the show Finding Bigfoot filmed some in a very recognizable location in downtown Helen. If you get a moment, check it out and see if you recognize the location.

So if you ever have a Bigfoot sighting, make sure to pay attention to see if you can answer the question: Does Bigfoot wear pants?

Stephanie Hill is a reporter for the White County News.